- Loneliness is a feeling of being empty and not connected but may be also feeling unwanted and left out, not loved and not understood.
- As human beings, we hunger connection and intimacy. We've always lived in groups in order to survive. So, loneliness has an evolutionary function of telling us not to get too disconnected and give us information that we need to connect to others. Therefore, when we don't have connection there is a feeling of anxiety about being alone.
- Loneliness also can be a form of grief; grieving about something that we don't have or lost.
- Loneliness is a state of mind and may not be factual. We can be around a lot of people but feel very lonely because we are not connected in the way that satisfies us.
- If we are not genuine in our relationships and fake person with others, we often feel lonely because it's not our real self who is connected to others.
- The reason some people feel loneliness more intensely has to be the function of life history that somewhere the person experienced some sort of traumatic or very intense experience. Earlier in life when these people felt intense emotions that nobody was able to understand or help them with those emotions; they couldn't say what those feelings were, and just felt this pain of being separated and alone that was never dealt with. Then as an adult this lonely feeling gets evoked and they kind of relive the past in the present.
- People who are lonely, often have low self-esteem or they are self-critical, and they are afraid to connect and sort of push people away in fear of getting rejected. So people who feel lonely tend to stay away from others although they want to be connected. That's part of the painful way of protecting themselves from potential rejection or loss and not coping well with loneliness.
- There is also the existential loneliness that ultimately, we have to face our loneliness.
(From an interview with Dr. Greenberg, 2021) |
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Alfred and Shadow - A short story about loneliness |
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EFT (Individuals) Training Level Three On Zoom Wednesday July 28th to Saturday July 31st, 2021 From 9:00 AM to 1:30 PM PST By Dr. Les Greenberg |
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Emotion Focused Therapy Support Group Monthly Gathering We meet on the third Sunday of the month from 12 to 2 PM, Los Angeles time on Zoom If you are interested in joining our gatherings, please RSVP to EFTSoCal@gmail.com These groups are Free of charge |
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Future EFT Master Classes To Be AnnouncedEFT Advanced Empathic Attunement Focusing and Relational Processes EFT Social Anxiety EFT Couples EFT Complex Trauma Emotion Focused Family Therapy |
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Participants will receive in-depth skill training through a combination of brief lectures, video demonstrations, live modelling, case discussions and extensive supervised role-playing practice. |
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Continuing Education Hours SoCal Institute of EFT trainings are co-sponsored by the Insight Center. The Insight Center is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. The Insight Center maintains responsibility for this program and its content. The California Board of Behavioral Sciences accepts APA CEs. |
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For previous Newsletters with educational blogs please click below |
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General model of Emotion Focused Therapy approach is based on that: - Emotions are an adaptive orienting system and a source of information about thoughts, feelings, action readiness, motivations, and interpersonal interactions.
- Client experiencing (attention to and exploration of feelings and meanings) is the primary source of new information in therapy (as opposed to skills training, challenging maladaptive thoughts or interpretations).
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You have to arrive at your emotions before you can leave them. Les. Greenberg, PhD. |
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